Thursday, 5 January 2017

2016: The Highs & Lows.

2016 truly was a shit show.

If 2016 were a television show, the network would have cancelled it mid-August when shit really started hitting the fan and the viewer complaints were piling in...but, we made it through the wilderness. We are now knee deep into the first week of 2017 and I have so many thoughts and feelings. Allow me to express...

New years is a strange time as so many of us rely too heavily on it to be the cure for the lack of personal growth within the previous year. I'm incredibly guilty of this and usually around November time, I tend to give up on goals completely and just wait for the new year to roll in so I can be 'motivated to give a shit again'.

My birthday is on New Years Day which always sounds great to people for around 5 seconds until it sinks in and then most mutually agree that it's basically child abuse to be born on the 1st January. There are several shite things about this birthday but the top 3 that spring to mind are:
- People having the balls to give me 'joint' Christmas & Birthday gifts. They are still separate occasions, don't be an asshole (and when your birthday rolls around in July, guess who's getting a very early joint Christmas gift...)
- Every grown human (usually including me) is hungover and unwilling to be fun and is usually in bed until around 4pm.
- Everyone is broke and fresh out of festive spirit by this point and therefore trying to organise a birthday celebration is like herding cats.

This year, I spent the first half of my birthday with my head in a toilet in a Travelodge hotel thanks to mixing 6 different alcoholic beverages (in varied quantities) within 6 hours while I made out with a stranger (name TBC) at a bar in-between us romantically sharing shots of Jaegermeister and attempting to drunkenly hit on each other. Not really sure why we felt the need to still be polite and chat each other up with multiple inebriated compliments but alas, I bleed chivalrous British blood. Despite spending my morning forcing myself to vomit (while a terrible Christmas movie starring Melissa Joan Hart played in the background) I actually had a great birthday. I spent it with my tiny tight-knit family and was spoilt by my favourite people from the comfort of my bed all day. Not even a morning of tactical chundering could ruin my 26th day of birth, after a terrible 12 months, my family put in more effort than usual on my special day and I lapped it up like a desperate housewife! 

The added pressure that comes with my birthday landing on the first day of a brand-spanking-new year actually worked in my favour this time around. For the first time in years, I felt motivated at the thought of a year ending and spent some time writing down some highs and lows of the past year to reflect on and for once I revelled in the fact that I could have 2 fresh starts to keep me focused, a new year and a new age. This combo gave me a real Liz Lemon 'I can have it all!' kind of feeling that I fucking loved. Such a love buzz (which is also the term I use when I orgasm so...take that however you want. And don't think too much in to it. Cheers.)

Here, for refection purposes, are some of my highs and lows of 2016. I have chosen to not include every sad celebrity death and keep it to personal achievements and losses because, let's face it, this post would be a mile long because 2016 was basically the grim reaper to anyone in the entertainment industry. (Dolly Parton made it out alive though to which I'll be forever thankful.)

The Lows...
  • My beloved cat, Tiggs, passed away.
  • Experiencing my drink getting spiked which lead to the scariest/one of the most humiliating nights of my life.
  • Two break ups: one was a man who treated me poorly for a long time and one was a very selfish 5 year friendship. Both needed to end as they were toxic but it was shitty nonetheless. 
  • Pokemon Go was a thing that really busted everyones balls & The Great British Bake Off was 'Trumped' (a new adjective to describe white people ruining nice things).

The Highs...
  • Treating myself to a relaxing weekend away in Brighton at my new favourite hotel, The Artists Residence and spending the weekend eating, bathing and staring aimlessly at the beautiful scenery (and visiting the flour pot bakery roughly 7 times).
  • Going to Download Festival for a second year running and having the best drunken time with a great group of pals.
  • Having a real 'Eat, Pray, Love' moment and running off to New York for a week alone. Possibly my bravest move of 2016 as I'd never been before but I had the greatest time. Genuinely life changing.
  • Visiting the 'happiest place on earth', Disneyland Paris for a long weekend with my sister/soulmate.
  • My creativity being reignited by various exhibitions & shows in my beloved home, London. Most notably was the Bob Dylan exhibition I visited in Soho which inspired a piece of writing I am so proud of (but am still too scared to share.)
  • I went to my first ever Gay Pride celebration in London and met the greatest people. (The booze and drugs combo made me a ball of love though so in hindsight, I could've met Hitler that day and thought he was dope as my judgement was hindered. Pretty sure everyone was great though. And pretty sure my dancing was on fleek.)
  • I dated quite a bit and for the first time in my life, I actually really enjoyed it and embraced being single.
  • My childhood favourites came to life: I saw Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte and Fall Out Boy live and met my childhood rebellious leader, Steve-O from Jackass. 
  • I fell back in love with writing.

Hopes for 2017...
  • I hope I am brave enough to share more personal writing.
  • I hope I am motivated enough to look after myself.
  • I hope I remain close with those who I care for so deeply.
  • I hope to travel to more new places.
  • I hope I let my guard down more often and let people in.
  • And finally, I hope David Attenborough carries on doing his thing and that Channel 4 doesn't shit all over the GBBO franchise.

Happy New Year...let's not fuck this one up.